If the woman is on a date with you, it is because she is attracted to something about you. Most likely she just wants to see if it is true. Also, she wants to know if you are interested in her as a person. Listen to her and see what’s in her mind. Women love to be appreciated.
I saw the movie hitch, and I learned a lot from it. Will Smith focused on a particular concept in the movie. If a woman tells you, “I am into my career now, or I am not looking for a relationship,” there is a 50% chance that she is telling the truth and another 50% chance that she is lying. Maybe she is trying to avoid a relationship because the last one ended in a heart break. Either way that’s just a blockade she puts in front of you to see if you, and if you are genuinely interested in her you will surmount that blockade. When it comes down to basic human nature, we all want to be loved.
She's standing at the door, dressed in a little black dress that makes you want to stare at parts you shouldn't. You've got the first ten minutes covered--introducing yourself, getting into the car, driving to the restaurant or café or other venue, finding a place to sit. Then you find yourself sitting across from her. She looks at you with that blank expression that tells you nothing at all. Your palms start to sweat. You wonder if you remember to put on cologne, or if you checked for anything in your teeth before you left the house. The silence grows longer. You wish the waiter would come for your order. A quick sigh tells you that she's getting bored. You curse to yourself. At the next table you catch a glimpse of a couple laughing; the guy is telling a story, and she is leaning forward to catch every word. That guy could be you ... if you only knew what to say.
Don't get caught without conversation starters on a first date! The guys who can wow a woman from the moment they meet her all know a secret: women love funny, relaxed, attentive guys who want to hear all about them. There is nothing that a woman finds more flattering than to be asked about her opinions, feelings, and life experiences.
So when you find yourself in a situation where the silence starts to grow, ask a question! What do you want to know about this woman? I will warn you right now: she'll notice immediately if you're not really interested in her response. If you want to get to know a woman better, you need to show how interested you are in her. Better yet, when she shares her accomplishments and hobbies, you will find yourself in a perfect situation to compliment her ... and complimenting a woman will suddenly make you much more attractive in her eyes. The least attractive guy in the world can find himself swarmed with women if he simply does two things: appreciates them and lets them know it.
When you're on a first date, remember the following tips.
1. Keep all conversation positive. Never bring up negative things, like how hard your life is right now, how you've been seeking for a job for months, or how complicated things are with your parents. Avoid controversial subjects until you get to know the person better.
2. Relax! Women can sense fear and nervousness, even if you think you're hiding it well. When you are nervous, you often speak faster, and you may appear more serious or intense than you usually are. You may want to try watching a comedy, reading cartoons, or doing whatever makes you double over in uncontrollable laughter before your date. Laughing will relax all your muscles, send good feelings to your brain, and get your blood pumping. You'll meet her with a great big smile on your face--and she'll respond.
3. When she is talking, lean forward, look into her eyes (not down at her chest), and respond to what she says. If you agree, smile and nod. If she's talking about something serious, take it seriously. DO NOT lean back in your chair and look around the restaurant as she talks. DO NOT stare at her so intensely that she feels uncomfortable. Give her the space to look back at you by occupying yourself with your plate of food, or by gazing at a spot on the tablecloth while you focus on listening to her.
4. Don't ask the same old questions, as if you're going through a checklist. Everyone gets asked what they do or where they're from. Try some questions that she's never been asked before. If you can, focus the question on something that you've noticed about her specifically. For example, if she walks particularly gracefully, you might ask her if she's been a dancer. Not only will she feel flattered, but the question will give her the opportunity to talk about whether she likes dancing ... which might lead to an invitation for a second date later on in the night.
Here are some other conversation starters that you might wish to ask. If any of these questions seem to strike a nerve, quickly move on. NEVER push an issue. You might sense that there is more to a topic than she wants to tell you at this point, and that's okay. The point is to make her feel comfortable and open up to you, NOT to make her feel uncomfortable and tense.
Conversation Starter #1:
"Do you have a pet? What's your favorite kind of pet?"
This should start up a lively conversation, because people LOVE their pets and love talking about them. If she doesn't have a pet, you might wish to ask, "Really? Why not?"
Conversation Starter #2:
"That's a cool watch/necklace/pair of shoes. Where did you get it?"
The amount of time women spend preparing for dates is enormous. Most women choose everything they wear with careful deliberation. When you notice the effort they've put in and ask about something they've chosen to wear, they will feel flattered and appreciated ... as well as get to talk about their clothes and accessories, which every girl enjoys.
Conversation Starter #3:
"Have you ever done X?"
It is important to establish common ground on your first date and find some common interests. By asking her if she's ever done something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing, you can find out what you have in common. Just don't use the question as a platform to go on and on about your OWN interests--no matter how interested she seems to be. Women know how to act interested, even if they're not. Mention your own hobbies, then move on to finding out more about her.
Conversation Starter #4:
"Do you follow any sports teams?"
This can be a tricky question, because men are notorious for being sports buffs. Many women don't want to be with a guy who will blow them off when their favorite team is playing on a Saturday afternoon. However, if she does follow a sports team, you may find that you'll have an instant connection, and you'll be able to surprise her with tickets to her favorite team later down the line.
Conversation Starter #5:
"Have you ever been to Y?"
Everyone likes talking about places they've been. Ask her if she has ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it's a club, a coffee shop, a museum, or even a park or hiking trail. If she hasn't been there, and you are hitting it off by that point, you can use the question as a springboard for asking her out on a second date!
Good luck! I hope that these conversation starters give you an edge to sweep the next woman you meet off her feet. In my book, "How to be Irresistible to Women," I give you many more chapters on other incredibly important traits that will make women find you extremely attractive, such as how to make women fall in love with you, how to be funny, the
by Jason King
Think back to the last time you had a conversation with a woman you were interested in.
Let me ask you something... what were you focusing on the MOST? Was it:
Wondering if you'll get her phone number?
Trying to make a good impression, so she'll like you?
Doing your best to sound confident and smooth?
I've been thinking about this a lot today, and I realized that one of the biggest mistakes us guys make is that we are too focused on "what she thinks of us" or "if we're going to get what we want (phone number, first date, sex, etc)"... that we completely forget the purpose of the conversation, which is...
Getting to know the person in front of you!
It sounds simple, but if you remember this when you're in the real world talking to a real woman, you'll loosen up, and start genuinely try to get to know her, and she'll FEEL that.
If she feels like you are actually interested in her, she'll become MUCH more interested in YOU. I've got a few great tips for you to use next time you talk to a nice looking girl.
1: Notice what she gives you.
Here's what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her best friend, then you should ASK her about it. She's giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she's hoping you'll pick up on that, and run with it.
If she mentions that she went bowling, you could follow up with any of the following questions or remarks:
* Oh that's cool, I used to bowl in a league. How often do you play?
* Who do you usually go bowling with? What other kind of things you and your friends to together?
* I think that's awesome that you like bowling, because it's one of my favorite things. How long have you been playing?
Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn't want either).
2: Ask her direct questions about her personal interests.
Don't make the mistake of spending too much time talking about "surface level" stuff, like the weather, or the other people in the place, or the band that's playing.
That kind of conversation is only interesting for the first couple minutes, because she's waiting for you to take it to the next level.
Don't be afraid to just go ahead and ask her about herself. I know this sounds like common sense, but do you DO it in real life? If you see that she's wearing an interesting necklace, ask her about it. If you saw her playing pool before, ask her who taught her how to play.
The point is... you want to talk about personal stuff, not surface level crap. Start with small talk, but move out of it after a few minutes, or she'll get bored of the conversation (and so will you).
3: Don't ask for a date. OFFER a date instead.
You're not a child who has to ask permission anymore. If you want to take a woman out, just let her know that you're interested in make an offer to spend time together at some place interesting.
Lots of people make offers to you every day. Some you accept, some you don't. Here's an every day example:
When you go through the drive thru at a fast food place, and you order a sandwich, what do you almost ALWAYS hear? Usually you'll hear something like, "You can upgrade that to a combo meail for only a dollar more. Would you like to do that today?"
It's kind of the same thing with talking to women.
She's already ordered the sandwich by having a nice conversation with you right now. You can simply let her know that you enjoy her company, and you'd like to offer her a chance to continue getting to know each other. If she says no, it doesn't have anything to do with you as a person. It's just not something she's interested in, just like you're not interested in buying the combo meal sometimes.
Here's why I bring this up. Those fast food places that offer the combos with each order have dramatically increased their total sales volume by juat making that simple offer.
YOU could do the same thing with your love life!
You could dramatically increase the amount of women you date just by offering each one that you're interested in a chance to get to know you even better. If one says no... who cares? The next 2 will say yes. But ALWAYS make the offer.
The 14 year old kid at the drive thru isn't afraid of you saying "No thanks, and you shouldn't be afraid of some woman saying the same thing.
Remember, talking to women is not a sporting competition that you either win or lose. She's a real person who's giving you an opportunity to get to know her. She won't always make it so easy for you, but just keep trying.
Focusing on "getting a result" from the interaction is a huge mistake. It makes her feel like you see her as a "task" that needs to be completed instead of a person.
Do your best to get to know her, and forget about getting phone numbers and emails. When you become genuinely interested in the women you talk to, the phone numbers and emails will pile up faster than you can count them!
Here's a quick recap of the 3 tips...
1. Notice what cues she gives you to work with. Often she'll reveal tiny snippets of personal information, hoping that you'll take the ball and run with it. Pay attention to what she says, and use it as a doorway into deeper, and better conversation.
2. Ask her questions about her personal interests and passions. Try to get off the small talk after a few minutes. Start with something innocent and minor, but try to take the conversation to a personal level. It makes it more interesting for the both of you. Trust me, she DOESN'T want the conversation to stay surface level the whole time. If she does, then find someone else.
3. Would you like the combo meal? If you're even MILDLY interested in a woman, always make the offer to continue to get to know each other at another time. They won't all say yes, but if you don't offer... NONE of them will say yes.
Wayne Gretzky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." I couldn't agree more.
I hope you got a lot of value out of these tips. Now, you might be wondering what's next. What's the next step in learning how to be powerful with women.
In my opinion, one of the best skills you can have is knowing how to make out with women once you're actually ON the date with them.
If you haven't already, go check out my new report called "Makeout Mastery". In it, you'll learn all my best secrets for getting physical with any woman. You'll also learn what to DO on a date that will turn her on, and make her want to see you more and more.
Go ahead and check out this special web page, while it's still fresh in your mind.
This journal is a compilation of material from viewers, relationship experts, and any person who wants to learn and educate others about being a better players, and lotharia(seducer of women). Go to www.SoSuave.com and get the book pimpology, which is downloadable and free. Also, you will eventually want to purchase the book "Double Your Dating"